Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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