Ambien. No doubt about it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize