Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
