i permit you to call me
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
