K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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