i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
