lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
