I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
