Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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