You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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