How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize