dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
