Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
