Too much gin, very little bucket
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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