I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
