is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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