I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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