you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize