i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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