Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
