The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
