i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I know her cup size but not her name....
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
