I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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