haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
