Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
