My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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