I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
