sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
