I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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