He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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