Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
