The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
