I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
