remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
