so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
