Just cropdusted the office
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
