I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
