i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
4 words: hood of his car
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
