when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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