She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
my liver is dry heaving
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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