You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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