Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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