I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just had sex bonerless
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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