It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
