Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
