I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
