i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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