make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You pole danced in your parka.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
