It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
