So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
