all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
