somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
