Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
