When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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