I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
