would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
