In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
