if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
