I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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